Part II of missing the point: "I hope you come back in a body bag!"

It seems like everyone is getting a word in on the question of civility, or lack thereof, in the likes of incidents in Serena Williams threatening words to a line judge at the U.S. Open, Kanye West ego-drive to the stage of the MTV awards and grabbing Taylor Swift's mike, or Rep. Joe Wilson's "You lie!" outburst smack dab in the middle of President Obama's speech. I chose to say something about Wilson's outburst in my last post.

To say it again: I'm appalled by Wilson's disrespectful outburst. But, this is not about partisan political or philosophical viewpoint. It has to do with character, how we treat one another, whether we listen to each other, and how we talk to each other when we have disagreements.

Story #2: during the first Gulf war, I felt compelled to join some people to express our sadness, as well as our opinion that we disapproved of going to war and advocated a different approach to dealing with this conflict. So, one very cold January morning, on the corner of the busiest intersection in Toledo, I joined 25 people or so with signs and standing together in solidarity with our desire for another way. I'll have to admit, I was nervous yet felt this is something I needed to do.

I was with some people I knew and others I did not know. At this one moment, I was standing next to a woman who I did not know when the light turned red and a man in a white pick-up truck rolled down his passenger window. He was wearing fatigues and started yelling at us. Cussing. Calling us cowards. The woman next to me decided to take him on.

He said things like you guys are cowards, that we should be happy that we'll start killing crazy people in Iraq, that we should have something better to do than this.

She yelled back things like you don't know what you're talking about, we are the ones with true courage, the problem is with people like you, etc.

He: "Well, I wish I could be over there right now fighting for the U.S.!"

She: "If you went, you might end up in a body bag!"

He: "Well, I'd rather come back in a body bag than to stand there doing what you idiots are doing!"

And then...her line. The peace activist. She said, angrily: "Then, I hope you come back in a body bag!"

What?? What did I hear? That you hope he comes back in a body bag??

At that moment, after being stunned, I decided to leave. I shook my head and said "No. No." to her, and I left. We, who were advocating for peace and non-violent solutions, cannot take that approach, for it completely nullifies the message we want to communicate. I want no part of this. One bad apple was spoiling the whole bunch of us gathered that day.

What we say and how we say it is part of the message.

Now, I did not agree with the particular viewpoint of the man in the pick-up, but I'm called to love, not just those I agree with, but even my enemies.

For those who take up the name "Christian," and say we are followers of Jesus, must show a different way in our discourse and actions. Part of that is cultivating a character that is open to questions, will ask questions, and enter into respectful dialogue.