Sunday, September 20, 2009

Part II of missing the point: "I hope you come back in a body bag!"

It seems like everyone is getting a word in on the question of civility, or lack thereof, in the likes of incidents in Serena Williams threatening words to a line judge at the U.S. Open, Kanye West ego-drive to the stage of the MTV awards and grabbing Taylor Swift's mike, or Rep. Joe Wilson's "You lie!" outburst smack dab in the middle of President Obama's speech. I chose to say something about Wilson's outburst in my last post.

To say it again: I'm appalled by Wilson's disrespectful outburst. But, this is not about partisan political or philosophical viewpoint. It has to do with character, how we treat one another, whether we listen to each other, and how we talk to each other when we have disagreements.

Story #2: during the first Gulf war, I felt compelled to join some people to express our sadness, as well as our opinion that we disapproved of going to war and advocated a different approach to dealing with this conflict. So, one very cold January morning, on the corner of the busiest intersection in Toledo, I joined 25 people or so with signs and standing together in solidarity with our desire for another way. I'll have to admit, I was nervous yet felt this is something I needed to do.

I was with some people I knew and others I did not know. At this one moment, I was standing next to a woman who I did not know when the light turned red and a man in a white pick-up truck rolled down his passenger window. He was wearing fatigues and started yelling at us. Cussing. Calling us cowards. The woman next to me decided to take him on.

He said things like you guys are cowards, that we should be happy that we'll start killing crazy people in Iraq, that we should have something better to do than this.

She yelled back things like you don't know what you're talking about, we are the ones with true courage, the problem is with people like you, etc.

He: "Well, I wish I could be over there right now fighting for the U.S.!"

She: "If you went, you might end up in a body bag!"

He: "Well, I'd rather come back in a body bag than to stand there doing what you idiots are doing!"

And then...her line. The peace activist. She said, angrily: "Then, I hope you come back in a body bag!"

What?? What did I hear? That you hope he comes back in a body bag??

At that moment, after being stunned, I decided to leave. I shook my head and said "No. No." to her, and I left. We, who were advocating for peace and non-violent solutions, cannot take that approach, for it completely nullifies the message we want to communicate. I want no part of this. One bad apple was spoiling the whole bunch of us gathered that day.

What we say and how we say it is part of the message.

Now, I did not agree with the particular viewpoint of the man in the pick-up, but I'm called to love, not just those I agree with, but even my enemies.

For those who take up the name "Christian," and say we are followers of Jesus, must show a different way in our discourse and actions. Part of that is cultivating a character that is open to questions, will ask questions, and enter into respectful dialogue.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Part I of missing the point: "You lie!"

A heads-up from the beginning: this is not about partisan politics. In fact, far from it.

It appears, far too often, in the arena of politics that a game is being played and you toss out the rules that guide behavior in other walks of life. (I'm referring to "politics" in a specific sense- that of the halls of Washington, state capitals and local municipalities.) It gets nasty. It's increasingly partisan. A game. Posturing.

If you've been around this blog some you will know that I don't place my emphasis, hope or focus in this sphere. My focus is on the call of Jesus of what life as a transnational citizen of the kingdom of God looks like, and seek to embody that in the world. But, there are times when you just have to "name" things out there.

What Representative Joe Wilson of South Carolina did during President Obama's speech last week was appalling, in my mind. Reprehensible. To call out, "You lie!" to the President, during his speech, is stunning. This is one who is elected to serve in congress?

Flat-out rude.

This is not about the issues at stake in a discussion about health care; there is a setting for that discussion. (And, you can argue, well, in fact, that there's a great deal of more maturity needed in the halls of congress when issues get debated in this or any issue!) You can totally disagree with the President's viewpoint and direction, and there should be informed and compassionate debate about the issues. But...but, you don't yell out in the middle of a speech the President is giving.

I know there was a small slap on the wrist that the House of Representatives gave yesterday, but I'm still shocked that there would not be overwhelming rejection of this type of action from all political parties. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be shocked.

So, I'll call it from my end: rude, disrespectful, immature. This is not how you engage the issues.

Is it a surprise, then, that lack of decorum and respect will be accepted by others in society if this is not denounced?

This does lead me to the fact that in our communities seeking to follow Jesus, we must be good models of how we talk to one another, discuss issues with which we disagree, and dialogue about tough issues. "Agreeing and disagreeing in love," as we say in some circles.

Perhaps that's the main point: that we must model this in our churches and communities of faith. We say "yes" to this way of dealing with our differences; and we say "no" to the "You lie!" outbursts and ways of engagement.

It applies to wherever one is along the continuum of beliefs, politics, philosophy, etc. That's why this is Part I. Part II is another story to follow...

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Safe place to ask hard questions

I had lunch recently with a 29 year old guy in a Thai restaurant on a fun street in a popular neighborhood. A good Thai restaurant and my first time there. Great yellow curry dish. Have you had a yellow curry chicken meal recently?! Ok, that’s beside the point…

In the course of the conversation we talked about The Bridge, this church that is a year old today. He asked me about the church, how it started, the vision, and where I see it going. Does he know what he’s doing by asking that question? For one, it means he’ll finish his food and mine will get cold while I relish the opportunity to talk about this stuff!

And I did. Imagine that.

And I asked him about life and what he’s looking for and church and community. Those things. It was a great conversation. I learned as I listened. I plopped down my jotter on the table and took notes on my 3X5 cards. Is there ever a time when one doesn’t learn from a meaningful conversation?

In response to my question of what ideas he would have for our church, he said: “One of the most important things you might offer is a safe place for younger adults to ask the hard questions.” And then he went on to talk about that a bit.

A safe place to ask the hard questions.

I’m with you! A safe place to ask hard questions, and to engage and have dialogue around those questions; that is built into the intent of The Bridge as it began.

I pick up this polarization that is floating around. On the one hand, questions are encouraged but there is a notion, whether implicit or explicit, that there are no answers. Only questions. On the extreme other end, answers are given for everything and you might as well not ask questions. For, either there is no point to asking questions or you might be judged and looked down upon for your question or doubt.

There is a third way. As I find to be the case with rising frequency, we don’t have to choose between these two poles. One of the things I hope that we can convey in our church community, is that we believe there are some answers. Some important answers to significant issues related to meaning, life, the quest for truth, about loving God and loving others (enemies included). We are not left with only questions.

And right on the tail of that…we also do not have answers. No one person or group has answers to all questions, dilemmas and doubts. There is a ton of, to use a well-worn word these days, mystery.

So, bring on the doubts, questions and search for truth and God. We will not come out on the same page when wrestling with these questions. We do believe there are some key beliefs and ways of living that we believe to be true, and centered in Jesus as the fullness of God revealed to humanity. But, there are many questions that will keep us searching and in dialogue as a community.

Come to think of it, that yellow curry dish is not beside the point. Enjoying great conversation over great food in a fun neighborhood is part of life. Part of this search for joy, life, truth and meaning.

Friday, August 28, 2009

I don't want to die...now

I don't want to die. Gail doesn't want to die. I don't want Gail to die. Not now.

Fact: I am going to die. Gail is going to die. Some day.

I don't think about this a lot. But, that changed on July 23 when we ended up in the emergency room, and through a series of tests (CAT scan, MRI, etc.) we were told Gail has a brain tumor. After the numbing jolt to our very being- body, mind, soul, spirit- that thought consumed us for the weekend: dying.

As I wrote in my last post, things have changed since our July 23 ER visit (being told this mass is very likely a malignant tumor and inoperable due to its location) to our subsequent visits to a new neurosurgeon.

In the two visits, and with some further tests (ophthamologist and endocrine tests), he has consulted 3 other neurosurgeons and his neuroradiology team. They all believe this: that this "mass" in Gail's skull is not malignant, that it has likely been there for quite some time, and that the best course is to monitor this closely. The next step: a follow-up MRI in October to see if there has been any change (he tends to think there will not be a change). If there is no change, then there will be MRI's at 6-month intervals for a year.

Of course, if there are any symptoms that would indicate some possible changes, we would meet with Gail's neurosurgeon. During these past four weeks, with the exception of Gail's last day on staff with Young Life (a very painful/stressful day), she has had no symptoms. We have been grateful, and continue to pray for this to continue down this same path.

Thinking about death...

That first weekend was horrible, the weekend after the ER visit. Everything is going through your mind- the fear, terrible grief, unimaginable life without Gail, the loss of a very part of me. Each moment, each hour was pregnant with meaning.

We all know that we cannot determine when death will reach our door. I might help the odds, and even fool myself into believing that I can somehow determine the length of my life; but, I am not in control of this. I eat my share of fruit, vegetables, grains, healthy cereal and grab those 23 almonds daily for a snack. I drink enough water. A glass of red wine for my heart (and taste). I exercise regularly. And so does Gail. And we can't control the day we will die.

I know this. I know that I have lived, at age 54, longer than many in our global village. I know that far, far too many in our human family suffer and die daily due to inequities and injustice. I know I could live to be 95 or I could die tomorrow. But, I'm not ready to die nor am I ready to think about my closest friend, lover, intimate companion, and partner on this journey in life and ministry dying.

I have also pondered this, frequently, over the past 5 weeks: heaven. More specifically, a "new heaven and a new earth." Or, as N.T. Wright calls it, "life after life after death."

What has troubled me about the "heaven" thing in some religious circles is that it is the only thing that matters: you're born, sometime you believe that Jesus died for you, and then you go to heaven when you die. Period. That's it. All there is to it. And, I don't believe it- that is, this is all there is to it.

I believe, from my standpoint as a follower of Jesus and a faith in a God as Father, Son and Holy Spirit, that this life matters. Life now. Life that is robust with meaning ("eternal life"). Joy and beauty and wholeness. And, living in such a way that loves and cares about the marginalized and the "least of these." Living life to the fullest and seeking justice where it is absent. Seeking even to love one's enemies. This new realm, this new reign, this new "Kingdom" that has broken into our world...NOW.

I believe that. I want to live my life aligned with that truth.

And...I believe in life after my life has ended in its current state. That there will truly be a new heaven and new earth (whatever that will look like) that will not be this huge dichotomy between the physical and spiritual being.

I have thought much more about this in the past 5 weeks. It's not an either/or: this life or life after death. This is where history is headed, where God will redeem and restore and bring all things to completion. That gives me great hope even as I walk through life on this earth. Another one of those both/and deals.

While I'm not ready for that today, I know that much more awaits me, and Gail. It will be the fullness, completeness and perfection of the Kingdom of God that we are already beginning to experience now.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Our personal world turned upside down

I am crying a lot these days. We, Gail and I, have shed a ton of tears.

Two huge happenings in our lives.

Today is Gail's (my wife) last day on staff with Young Life. That may not sound so startling; people change jobs/ministry quite a bit. This is different than a more typical job change. Gail has served almost 32 years in this ministry, the past 10 as one of the senior vice presidents for field ministry.

So, this is a time of grief. Loss. Deep grief. I can't begin to describe what it has felt like over the past several weeks, and I certainly can't fully understand what it feels like for Gail.

I do want to say this: I am totally proud of Gail in the way she has led and leads, in the way she empowers others to most fully use their gifts, for the tremendous impact she has had on kids and Young Life, and her powerful relational style-full of love-she exercises with her staff.

She will be used in significant ways in the next steps of her life. (Gail would be embarrassed for me to write these things.)

But, it is still grief. And, then, more grief, coupled with shock...

A week ago yesterday, we ended up in the emergency room after Gail was experiencing some headaches and some other symptoms. The shorter story: after a battery of tests, and several MRI's, and waiting hours for the physicians to report back...

...a radiologist and then neurosurgeon come into our room and say that they've spotted a brain tumor. Brain tumor. Do you know what that sounds like when you hear it? Brain tumor. I can still see the look in Gail's face, and feel the numbness that ran through my body. Surreal.

Not only that- he said that he is pretty sure it is a malignant tumor, is in a position deep in Gail's brain, and is likely inoperable. He said that a biopsy is what he would recommend and then we would know for sure. Not only were we in shock, terrified, and numb, but we felt little hope. We wept in each others' arms. Then, that night, and in the days that followed.

For a number of reasons, we decided that we were getting a second opinion and that next day, Friday, we searched high and low for any connections with a reputable neurosurgeon.

It's a longer story, and maybe I'll write more about it at some point, but we got a call out of the blue late Friday afternoon from a top neurosurgeon in the Northwest. A gift. He said his brother called, after hearing about Gail's situation from a prayer network in the Northwest, and wondered if he might call us. I could tell immediately this was a brillant neurosurgeon, confident, resourceful, and had compassion. I cried. An angel? (One friend said, "I think it was Jesus calling!")

We were put in touch with an amazing, exceptional neurosurgeon here in Denver who has been marvelous. After looking at the MRI, and consulting with others, he has said it is tricky, uncertain if it is malignant or benign, and is pursuing various tests to help diagnose this mass.

It may be malignant or benign. It may be operable or inoperable, or partially removable. It may or may not need to be removed. We are waiting.

We have been given so much more hope, even with the uncertainty facing us. We are so grateful for competent, compassionate medical professionals.

And, we are so grateful for the flood of emails, calls and cards (and other expresssions of love) from people coast to coast. We are empowered by the prayers of thousands (one friend has kicked in a network of prayer in West Africa where he said there are 1,000 people each hour praying for us!). We do not take this lightly. This prayer for healing and for us as a family.

So we wait. We plead for healing. I know God wants us to pray what is on our heart and mind.

Our world has been rocked. But, I know we have the Rock and Refuge, and as one in our new church has said, "We will be your rock!"

That has been taking place and we are blown away by the love of others and people who are praying fervently. As we wait, and find our hope in God, I'm so thankful for this.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I don't want a "Christian" America

I'm not looking for a "Christian" nation. That's not my hope as I live in this country.

And, if I lived in Iran, I would not want a "Muslim" nation.

In other words, I would not want to live in a theocracy. The recent protests in Iran, after the most recent Presidential election, has brought this to the table more forcefully. The Supreme Leader, in that setting, is powerful with regard to politics and the direction of the nation.

Many in America find this theocratic rule, in Iran, to be unsettling. It creates anger in many. I wonder: would Christians in this country be equally upset if we had a theocracy here if it were Christian? I'm not so sure what the reaction would be. "Perhaps it would be ok as long as it were Christian," some might think.

Not me. For, neither did God intend this to be the case (nation states run theocratically), nor do I believe it to be good or what is best for nation states or governance. God did not intend for Christians to take over a country, rule it, and then impose that faith on others (the Constantinian error, i.e. Constantine becomes Emperor in 303AD and makes Christianity the "officical" religion of Rome). Faith in and relationship with God is always voluntary. We live with pluralism of not just socio-economic, ethnic, and racial dimensions but of religion, as well, in our nation states. We seek to respect those differences, live side-by-side, and work for the common good.

But, we do not impose religion on others- Islam, Christianity or any other faith.

So, I don't want a "Christian" nation. Besides that, it's a myth- that notion. I want to live in friendship and with respect for my neighbors and fellow citizens regardless of their religious beliefs.

And, what I really want is for the church to be the church. To live as faithful communities within this nation (or any nation), seeking to follow Jesus as counter-cultural communities. We don't impose; we invite. We don't coerce others with morality; we endeavor to live what we believe is moral and true.

Forward as groups of "resident aliens."

Friday, July 10, 2009

Shane Claiborne, Greg Boyd, Jim Wallis and Mennonites

We just returned from a week at the biannual Mennonite Convention of Mennonite Church USA. If you were in a Mennonite church in the past 20 years, and attended the youth convention (coincides with the adult gathering), you know what it's like- about 5,000 high school kids with speakers like Tony Campolo, Mike Yaconelli, Yolanda King, etc.

If you are not in a Mennonite church or know nothing much about Mennonites you might go, "So...?" Or, "What's the big deal?" Or, "Sounds like a happenin' time!"

Speakers for the worship sessions included Shane Claiborne, Greg Boyd and Jim Wallis. You might be interested in Boyd's blog entry, "A night with Mennonites and Jim Wallis," http://www.gregboyd.org/blog/

So, here's the deal for me...we have started a new church, The Bridge, in this emerging/missional stream that has roots in an Anabaptist/Mennonite vision and spirituality, and connects to a more progressive Evangelical stream. What I heard from the speakers and the conversations with others in Columbus, Ohio only reinforced the vision for this church. Others, including Claiborne and Boyd, said, "Go after it!"

These speakers pointed to the theology and vision rooted in the Anabaptist/Mennonite tradition that intersects with what many are talking about and looking for as we begin the 21st century. Frankly, I don't know where the Mennonite Church will go- if it will be able to adapt in some of its settings to connect to this growing hunger. We'll see. I hope so.

But, I come back to Denver energized by the voices of Claiborne, Boyd and Wallis. Some great things are bubbling around the world with a renewed vision for the Kingdom of God.

Count me in!